Here's something that happens all the time in real villages. Including Not Ambridge.
It's the ongoing dismissal of incomers by locals.
When was the last time anybody dismissed an opinion on the grounds, "They weren't born in the village?" If Ambridge reflected real village life, Eddie Grundy's only and constant response to negative comments from Linda Snell would be, "What do you know about it? You're not from round here." Not great radio. Very difficult to develop a plot line when one party constantly repeats a mantra. But it would be real.
Here is Not Ambridge, it happens all the time. One poor resident (of ten years) suffered coruscating abuse because he had the temerity to write to the Parish Council.
Cheek.
Enough background, to the point:
We may not have Glebelands, we may not have Lakey Hill; we do have Three Post Lane.
Not much of a lane. About 30m of unsurfaced, weed encroached, rough, down hill slope. That has a stream running down it in rainy weather.
It also has posts at the top and the bottom.
A few years ago, your correspondent was in conversation with our Derek Fletcher (who in our case was born in the parish, if not the village) regarding the poor state of affairs of the posts. Derek waxed lyrical regarding the historic nature of the lane and that it had always had three posts at the top and three at the bottom. He couldn't explain why it wasn't known as six post lane.
More recently, a local farmer (again born in the parish and not the village (don't scoff, these things matter here)) joined a debate regarding the lane. "Two posts at the top and one at the bottom," he exclaimed. When it was pointed out that there was a view that the lane should have three posts at the top and three at the bottom, there was a hail of abuse at the suggester for not being from around here, for listening to ill-informed opinion and indeed for having the temerity to have an opinion in the first place.
As luck would have it, Derek wandered into this conversation, no doubt attracted by the abuse of a non-local. The timing couldn't have been better. Just as the tirade was drawing to a close (after repeating the arguments two and a half times, just for emphasis) it was pointed out to our abuser, that the source of the 2x three post view was none other than Derek Fletcher.
Stony silence rapidly descended on the group as the incomers (some of 40 or more years standing) watched in rapt glee as the two locals failed to work out anything they could say.
If anyone's interested, three post lane currently has two posts: one at the top and one at the bottom. Nobody has yet dared to bring this up at a Parish Council meeting to see if anything can be done about it.
